The Stephening Standard (v6, 2007)

Zac at MiniSchool
in 2007
wearing his favourite
Holden t-shirt

Editoral - Life at Last

If you wake up, it is a good day…you’re alive at least. Getting the annual newsletter from Stephen may not make it a good day, but at least you know he is still alive.

The year 2007 was a very big year for me. It was not all good, and not all bad. Two big events are discussed in the following However, 2007 was a major turn-around year for me and that was great.

The big news in the here and now is that Zac started ‘Big School’ yesterday. I am proud to say that I did not cry – at least not while anyone was looking. So 2008 is looking great…but now, for a brief review of the highlights of 2007.

Papa & Zac
building card houses
at the weekly
French conversation
breakfast

The Good News - Lost in Love

The sometimes annual Latin Ball at Bond University happened on Friday, March 16, 2007. As I was walking toward the venue, I saw a ravishing dark-haired beauty standing looking a little lost.

She turned to ask me if I knew the location of the Princeton Room which was the location of the Latin Ball. It was with great pleasure that I offered to accompany her there…and beyond as it later turned out.

However, it was not ever too easy between us. Is it ever? Jeanette had been invited to the Ball by one of my friends, Marie-Claire. Marie-Claire as a perpetual match-maker had rather hoped that Jeanette might hook up with a particular fellow at the Ball – not me! This other guy quickly made it clear he shared the same hope. To fuel his hope, he had the good fortune to end up on the same table as Jeanette.

The odds against me seemed long, but I was not giving up. I managed to snatch some dances and some brief conversation with Jeanette when her attentive companion let his guard down briefly – for the call of nature or the bar or perhaps both as one seems inevitably to lead to the other. I later got her number from Marie-Claire, gave her a call, and we went from there.

Zac, Jeanette, Mac and Keaton

However, some challenges remained. Jeanette was in the process of embarking on an effort to immigrate to the US. She planned to join her sister who lives there. Together they wanted to help their parents living in South Africa to immigrate to the US.

Ultimately, Jeanette decided to head to the US. She did ask if I would go too – ironically to Jacksonville, Florida about 60 minutes from Gainesville where I lived when studying in the US in the 90s.

However, as the other love of my life lives with me one week out of every two, and his other week is with his mother who lives just 15 minutes from my home, I declined her offer.

And so it ended. I learned that I am capable of loving again, and I’m still capable of attracting challenging women! Despite that, I thoroughly enjoyed our six-month sojourn.

Bad News - Suspicion & Intrigue

August 21, 2007 was a crap day to begin with, and it only got worse. The weather sucked…it was rainy, windy and all-round miserable. I was with my neighbour and his two boys, Mac and Keaton (you can see them in the picture with Jeanette and Zac). Mac had been with Zac and me for the afternoon. Mac’s dad and his other brother, Keaton, had come around to join the fun.

A ring at the doorbell heralded the end of the fun for me although I did not know it at the time. At my door were three police officers and two child safety officers.

In short, it was alleged (by an anonymous person) I was sexually abusing Zac. I was given no alternative but to submit to an interview myself, and to subsequently submit Zac to an interview with these same people without me or anyone that he knew present.

I will not go into further details here other than to say that after about 30+ minutes, the five people left without any apology and simply telling me that they felt there was no substantiation for the case made. It was a dark day as you can imagine.

Further details (read : an impassioned account of the event that I wrote the day after) elsewhere on this blog (see August 2007). One piece is entitled ‘confessions of a putative child abuser’; the other is a brief essay ‘on the nature of abuse’.

I survived, Zac has appeared to have come through the process unscathed thankfully.

The lesson to learn here is that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. The other lesson is that when whatever hits the fan, it is not going to be distributed evenly.

(Above and Left)

A labyrinth
on Coolangatta Beach
that I built with some mates

But Wait, There’s More

As noted earlier, lot of things changed for me in 2007. I won the right in court to move to week about with Zachary in December – and that is now in place and Zac appears to be very happy with it.

I also won the right to take Zac away on extended overseas holidays beginning in 2010.

I have cut back to a 50% contract in my job at Bond University in order to be able to look after Zac half time.

I have also taken up study again. I am currently studying towards a MA in philosophy and sociology. I hope to give more detail on this project at the end of this year.

I hope 2008 is great year for you & yours.

Cheers, Stephen.

Dejeuner au Chateau Larrieu
just south of Toulouse in June