The Stephening Standard - 2017

The major event of the 2017 year was that Zach, my little boy, simply disappeared. And in his place, a tall, fit, funny (some times) and charming (most times), young man arrived.

(You can still hear the little boy's voice on his telephone voicemail!)

The transition started with him doing a long solo paddle up Jerusalem Creek in late 2016 just before his 14th birthday.

In April of 2017, he and I participated in a week-long camp for sons and fathers (or mentors) called The Making of Men. The highlight of this camp for me was the "return to community". The men - older and younger - walked back to Durrumbul hall at the back of Mullumbimby. There they were greeted by waiting friends and family. I was delighted to see Zach's Mum and sister there for him. And Zach's mum was blown away when the mothers were gathered together in the centre, and then addressed and acknowledged by Zach and the other young men. And her smile was incandescent when all the men sang to the mothers as a choir.

Zach grew taller than me in about June.

In July, he accompanied me to a conference in the south of France, impressed and befriended some of my academic colleagues, and then stayed on by himself with our dear French friends near to Toulouse while I attended another conference in the US for a week. He managed magnificently.

In August, his braces were removed.

In September of 2017, Zach's mum gave him an ultimatum in which he had to choose between living with her most of the time and spending every second weekend with me, OR to spend all of his time with me and no time with his mother. It was probably around this time that Zach grew taller than his mother as well. I wonder if that was connected in some way?

In September, Zach and I travelled to WA. There his grandfather gave him a chainsaw to use. Trees were cut, wood was hauled, fires were started, masculine poses were pulled ... and there was much laughter.

In October 2017, Zach began flying - literally.

That's one whole bunch of growing up.

And me, I'm still growing - admittedly, mostly outward at this point. And still learning too - there's such a lot to learn!

I'm trying to work less, or at least, to focus on work that I really enjoy doing whether paid or not, and to reject the allure of mighty materialism. A work in progress!

Perhaps the best fun work I did in this last year was my tour of south Pacific islands in order to evaluate whether Australian-funded sports programs are successful in promoting social inclusion among those with disabilities.

And the best party was my sister-in-law's 50th birthday party. Glitz and glam was the theme - and me and my bros went all out... (see picture to the right)

Have a great 2018, and maybe see you there.